Reluctant Warrior
by chickenaut
Summary: How Tali came into Renegon Shepard mind.


Another batch of my silly story. Expected Tali's emotional roller coster. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! This is a direct sequel to 'Doubt and Confusion'. My attempt to write story with an action sequences that a worthy for mythbusting. But hey if Jules Verne could convinced anyone at his time that human could go to the moon using a giant space gun, and use a big cannon ball just like NASA's LEM, then hey why the hell not. My thanks to Skeasel for betaread. I'm Sorry Sarge1995 for bothering you at thanksgiving. Thanks for HalfTangible for your subscription. So please proceed, fire away!

* * *

**Reluctant Warrior**

The perfect place for Commander Shepard to watch the stars and think about past events was an aisle window that faced outside the Normandy. It was a spot he noticed when he first arrived on the Normandy, a place he now watched the curvature of the earth and waited for his assignment. There was a reason for this place: Shepard wanted to count every star visible. When he had nothing to do, he tried to keep his mind active before bad memories crept in. He needed an activity to distract him from a bad past. Some people talk to themselves or even hurt themselves by banging their head against the wall repeatedly. Shepard's counted the stars until he lost track of which stars he had already counted. By then another memory surfaced, and Shepard hoped that would be the pleasant one. If not, he would count the stars again.

His job as a Spectre was something that Shepard didn't want to do. His initial intention was to retire and find some secluded place where he could hide. His superior, Captain Anderson, convinced him to stay with system alliance marine corps. Shepard agreed as long as the people that Shepard hurt were not involved in the political fiasco that he had started. He worried if this was the right decision. By being a Spectre the future potential for a new bad act was certain to be. He was scared that he would finally break and need to commit suicide.

Right now, Shepard's mind was on a particular member of his crew. Her name was Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya, another tragedy waiting to happen in Shepard's opinion. There was unexplained reasons why he always remember this woman. She was like wild beautiful flower in the middle of a junkyard that grew strong and defied the environment, staying true to its nature. _She should not be in the war._ Shepard thought. Right now Shepard needed to figure out how to get Tali out of the picture before that beautiful flower turned in to a carrion flower, or was crushed beneath a heavy fate.

There was another reason for Shepard. She was like an oasis in the middle of dessert, an inviting refuge for every thirsty person. Shepard knew that he could become that person. Shepard didn't want to be pitied by anybody, he still had his pride, but by just looking at Tali's figure in engineering his pride like taken away. _Why __have_ _I __stooped __this low? _Shepard asked, angry at himself. Shepard fought this benign urge with all his might before it spread like wildfire. Shepard had hoped that what he did to Tali on Feros would change her mind, but the reports indicated that Tali still went strong with her activity, and showed no sign of giving up.

Shepard was still in deep thought when a person approached. He recognized the person after he heard her dreaded, distinguishable voice. It was Tali.

"Commander, I have a proposal for you."

"Not right now, Tali. I'm busy." Shepard replied.

"Looking at the stars? They're very beautiful aren't they?" Tali came closer to watch the stars from the same window.

Shepard was annoyed by this turn of events. Now she was even nicer than before. Shepard turned back and started to walk away, but his attempt was stopped by Tali.

"Now, Commander since you are not busy anymore, I want to talk about the geth incursion."

Shepard's interest was piqued.

"What do you know about the geth incursion?"

"Well I successfully decrypted the geth data that we found on Feros. I learned about geth activity in the Amstrong Nebula from it. I'm afraid that Admiral Hackett's intel is not particularly accurate. It's more like a geth invasion."

"Thank you for your hard work Tali. I will pass this report to Admiral Hackett. I will mention this as your work. Quarian people should be proud of your contribution."

"Wait Commander, you still didn't hear my proposal."

Shepard sighed heavily."Okay, what is it Tali?"

"I want to join your away team. After all, I have clear idea about the intel. Geth slaying is my specialty, and we won't deal with any organics so you don't have to worry about me."

"Not gonna happen."

"Commander, Chief Williams already approved my training evaluation and Engineer Adams recommend me for the mission from technical point of view."

"So? You are still not coming."

"You are being unreasonable."

"I'm in command of this ship."

"Commander... I gave you a solemn promise to stay with you until Saren is defeated. If you think that in anyway that I am not worthy of my promise, then I will go back to my pilgrimage."

Shepard started to suspect something, but this was a way that Shepard could get rid of Tali.

"Okay fine, you can go, and tell Garrus he can come along."

"Yes, Commander."

* * *

_Armstrong Nebula, Grissom System, Solcrum_

With Tali's refined intelligence data, Shepard's team sprang into action. Any attempt for the geth to make a strong foothold on strategically important planets in the Armstrong nebula had been reduced to smoldering ruin. Shepard's unit hit hard and fast. Already, four planets in four different systems had fallen back in to the System Alliance's hands. The geth's reaction had been pathetically inadequate. First they sent a geth ship to investigate, to provide reinforcements if necessary, but Shepard's team successfully took down this ship. Without news, a second and larger force of geth ships came to investigate, but by the time they arrived, a full System Alliance Navy armada was waiting for them. It became one-sided fight. The main armada of geth went into hiding to avoid this threat and maintained what planets the possessed in the nebula. Now geth invasion forces were in high alert.

After raiding four geth temporary bases, Tali gathered additional data. It gave a clue to Shepard's team of what to hit next. The heart of geth military was a command post deep in the nebula that System alliance navy patrol could not reach without spreading too thin. It was a perfect job for Shepard's team and his stealth ship, the Normandy. The base was guarded by the heaviest gun platform in the geth arsenal called a colossus, and it was accompanied by geth rocket troopers. This formation covered for any eventuality of combat. The colossus was defense for any ground threat and geth rocket troopers for any surface to air threat. It seemed a worthy defense for a worthy target.

Shepard already had plan on his mind though. He always used this stratagem:_make the enemy fight your fight_. If the enemy only knew chess, force them to play poker. The idea was to force the enemy to reduce their movements and actions in to predictable ones. A predictable enemy action that was inferior to Shepard's capabilities would be preferable. This made the enemy disoriented and easy to defeat. Either organic or synthetic, this fact should hold true. If the enemy was already in this predicament, whatever their reaction or intelligence they possessed, it would be useless to prevent eventual defeat. Of course it only worked in ideal conditions because there were a lot unpredictable factors that could change the course of battle, such as a natural disaster to another unknown enemy squad that came to investigate. A good military leader would take account of these factors and be prepared to adapt to new situations quickly.

For Shepard, the geth formation that guarded the base was a laughable attempt at defense. Shepard thought it was easier to predict a synthetic rather than an organic. The geth formation expected a full force came at them, guns blazing, something that only worked in video games or movies. Shepard thought that if the enemy expected that, maybe he should entertain the idea. All Shepard needed was bait.

Shepard ordered Tali to install a VI on the M35 Mako and program a specific route to follow. He also ordered Garrus to find a perfect spot to snipe and to defend from geth counter attack. He told Joker to standby for Normandy to bombard a specific target that Shepard would choose. Shepard's preparation was set. He was ready to attack.

Shepard commenced the plan. The M35 Mako started the run. With its cannon firing, the vehicle drove into the base, and started circling around it. The reaction was swift. The base went on alert. Geth rocket troopers started to shoot while the colossi gave chase. As the Mako received a blast from the geth gun, Shepard ordered Garrus to shoot the rocket troopers quickly. Garrus made the geth rocket troopers in disarray and forced the group of two colossus to spread. One colossus chased the Mako while the other gave suppressing fire at Garrus's general location so it could cover the geth rocket troopers. As this chaos began, Shepard and Tali made a long run to the base.

While they ran, Shepard called the Normandy to bombard the colossus that started to shoot at Garrus's cover accurately. A deafening blare from the Normandy's exhaust overwhelm the sound of battle down below as it began its dive. It scored a perfect hit on the colossus and several geth rocket troopers that were near it. As Shepard and Tali neared the base they formed a defensive position around a sole base's entrance that the geth troopers came out of. It created a bottleneck and only a small number of geth troopers could come out at a time. It was a perfect target for Shepard and Tali. As the destroyed geth started to pile up, the geth decided not to came out any longer. The battlefield outcome was in Shepard's favor as the last colossus destroyed by Garrus shot.

As Tali and Shepard stood guard near the entrance of the geth base, Garrus came out from his sniping spot and walked toward them. When Garrus saw the wreck of the M35 Mako,

"So much for my calibrations. Now it's just a ruined Mako." Garrus exclaimed through his communicator.

"I know, it's my baby too." Tali sympathized.

"Cut the chatter! That's just the fucking ride! Get your ass over here Garrus!" Shepard ordered angrily.

As Garrus ran to the geth base, Tali hacked a terminal near the entrance. From it, Tali was able to inform Shepard about the base layout and strength of geth squad in the base. It was mainly a large room with a balcony at the opposite of the entrance, a perfect defensive position since the the room itself had no cover on it. Any attempt to storm the underground chamber would be suicidal. There was also an oddity. The chamber had fully functional oxygen recycling system. It accommodated organics. The possibility of Saren and his krogan army to use this base are more likely, Shepard thought. Now Shepard had a new tactic that he could use.

By listening to Tali's briefing about the geth's newest platform capabilities he could deduce that the geth didn't breath. They had no sense of smell because they didn't need it. They didn't eat so they had no need to taste. They don't feel physical pain. There was also only a part of geth that was considered like skin on organic anatomy, and existed on the hands and feet. What they lacked in organic senses they replaced with a very good proximity sensor. They equipped with an array of electromagnetic sensor such as FLIR, night vision, and else. They also had sound receivers.

Through simple logical deduction, Shepard wanted these geth senses in the base to be crippled. Shepard knew that his and other armors already have a built in camouflage for electromagnetic sensor, and if that was not enough, Tali adjusted the ambient lighting of the base to be brighter as maximum as the limits of industrial light bulb specification could. It should enough to overloading geth optical sensors. Garrus also jury-rigged some flash bang grenades to burn longer for emergency purposed. For proximity sensors, Tali employed a new radar jamming technique. As for the sound receiver, Tali used a high-pitched noise through PA speaker that broadcast all around the base. Tali programmed the sound to occur at randomly generated intervals in order to thwart geth use of noise canceling technology. The geth could be made blind, deaf, and directionless.

Of course something that affected the geth sensors also affected Shepard's squad, which is where Shepard's hunting skills would be pushed to the limit. Shepard planned to use his nose to navigate the room and target the enemy. As any experienced hunter he can smell blood, or rather iron in the blood in the air. Shepard's senses were boosted by an enhancement implant, a common feature in the N7 program. He could recognize the intensity of iron on every item he smelled from afar. Since the geth platforms had a specific iron density similar to that of blood, it would be like smelling a punctured giant blood container. It was no surprise when Shepard heard the report that varren started attacking the geth in Feros, because the varren thought they were attacking wounded prey.

Shepard ordered Tali and Garrus to wear their helmets in order to utilize their communicators and protect their hearing from the noise in the base. He told them to look at their compass display in their helmet since they could not see anything past the helmet. Shepard wore a makeshift helmet so he could communicate easily but with one exception: his nose and eyes would not be covered . Shepard also ordered them to use a shotgun for this attack, to compensate for the accuracy of his smell.

As the lift brought the squad down into the base, Shepard confirmed his orders As the lift's door opened, the commander gave Tali a sign to start overwhelming the geth sensors. Not a moment too soon a white light swamped the room. Dazzled by it, Shepard closed his eyes, while the others closed their helmet shutters. Shepard came out from the lift.

There was another sense that Shepard could employ called directional awareness, common in birds when they fly to the south to escape winter. It was also present in humans if it could be trained thoroughly. Since Shepard was an experienced hunter and a special forces soldier, this sense was perfectly honed. He could adjust to Solcrum magnetic fields. With this he could direct his squad.

The squad found the room that had direct access to the lift to be empty. Shepard checked the main room. The door opened. Shepard could smell a lot of geth, but there was no geth movements. It seemed they were confused. Shepard barked his order through his communicator.

"Target, 28 degree clockwise from the north, 11 paces, 0 degree elevation. Fire!"

The squad fired their shotguns.

"Garrus! Concentrate! You missed half degree from your designated spread of shot, you didn't hit a damn thing!"

"Yes, sir!" Garrus responded.

"Target, 34 degree counter-clockwise from the north, 13 paces, 22 degree elevation. Fire!"

The squad fired their shotguns again.

"God damn it, Garrus! You almost shot my back!"

"I'm sorry Commander, I never used a shotgun before."

"No shit! You're worse than Tali, and you were once a Spectre candidate. I will make sure your lazy ass is trained hard!"

Then Shepard realized something. _Did I just compliment Tali? _Shepard thought. Shepard now started to worry about this obsession.

The process of clearing the geth base of geth soldiers started to pick up pace. Now Tali, and especially Garrus, followed Shepard's tactics more smoothly. The reaction time between order and execution became shorter and shorter. The squad started to enjoy this turkey shoot. Before Garrus and Tali knew it, Shepard ordered them to stop, change the base lighting to normal, and to turn off the PA system.

Tali and Garrus opened their helmet shutters and saw their handy work. On top of the balcony they could see a lot of geth platforms lying around broken. Several geth had already started their self-destruct sequences. While they were in awe, Shepard broke the silence.

"Impressed? This shows why human colonists do not rely exclusively on gadgets. We do not need superior hardware, just a really good intel. Now stop gaping and look for something to blow up, or gather intel."

Shepard and Garrus started to hack a terminal near them, while Tali checked a peculiar room. She carefully entered the room. When Shepard found interesting data about geth evolution, he noticed something. Tali didn't come out from the room yet, and his attempt to contacted her failed. He only heard her breathing through the communicator. Shepard signaled at Garrus to follow him and entered the room that Tali was in . They found Tali standing in front of two pods and staring at them. Her mind seemed preoccupied.

"Something wrong?" Shepard asked and touched her shoulder.

"I... I'm sorry Commander...I found this...a creature in a pod and a human girl in another." Tali startled.

"What do you know about them?"

"The creature is a combination of Thorian creepers and Geth husks, a strange hybrid that Saren wanted to study. Apparently, there was a battle of influence between Thorian spores and husk cybernetic processes. They used this base as a transit warehouse before they sent it to a Geth research facility."

"Is that why we never met any husks on Feros? I guess Saren worried about dragon teeth effectiveness. What about the girl?"

"She is 13 years old. They used her...the geth used her organs.. as spare parts for the hybrid creature. It needed fresh organs to replace the hybrid organs that were destroyed during the process of hybridization. She is very weak. She only has one lung for breathing and several organs missing."

Garrus was perplexed by what he saw.

"This is not an act of sentient being..."

Tali became upset when she heard this.

"Do you think that our exile was a joke? Do you know how many Quarian children died by the hand of the geth in the rebellion? Billions of quarian children died! Our great population was reduced to a mere 17 million! The geth were a part of domestic servitude, they were once nannies for these quarian children! But they killed the children because the geth chose to do so! They were innocent bystanders that had no knowledge of their parent's sin, but they paid the price anyway! The geth attempted genocide because they thought that we were trying to destroy them! Do you think that we are not paying a high enough price?"

Shepard watched Tali's passionate speech. Now he knew what made Tali so determined. In a way, she was like him when he joined the marines, when he swore he would avenge Mindoir, but Torfan had left him with an empty feeling. He understood the pain that she endured. She was in the same path as he once walked. Now Shepard knew why he was attracted to her. They shared the same agony, but a logical thought disturbed Shepard's moment of weakness. Shepard needed to think about the mission. He grabbed Tali's shoulder.

"Tali... we are still on the mission. Everyone has their own feelings of pain, but because we are professional we can manage it. Just stay focused on the task at hand and dwell on it later."

Tali seemed to have found a revelation that Shepard didn't realize. She just looked at Shepard intently. Shepard confused of what Tali was doing. The commander started to look back, trying too look pass the mask. He was waiting for a response. His confusion end with a sad thought. Shepard knew that she was very sad, but he didn't expect what Tali did next.

Tali hugged Shepard and started to cry.

Usually the commander couldn't stand this kind of melodrama. He knew first hand that life is a bitch. Since he could endure the anguish, he didn't have sympathy for the whiner, but for Shepard, Tali was a personification of him when he was still young. Shepard was very surprised at his feelings right now. It seemed that he was trying to console Tali, but Shepard felt that Tali actually tried to console him. In that moment he felt a glimpse of peace, but Shepard knew he needed to stay as professional as possible, so he was trying to fight the urge to hugged her back.

Garrus appeared uncomfortable and tried to crack a joke. "Well, you have smooth moves there, Commander."

"Really Garrus? And you wonder why a lot of humans are offended about first contact war. You really lack tact." Shepard said, amused.

"Satisfied now? Or do you need additional timeout?" Shepard asked, as Tali's sobs started to subside.

"No commander, I will be fine now." Tali said with a small laugh.

"Just bring the girl on board the Normandy will you, before we explode this geth base."

* * *

_Normandy, 9 light years from Solcrum_

Shepard had scheduled to contact Admiral Hackett through a secure channel, but in his mind he needed to check on Tali first. There was something else he needed to know before he made his decision. This was the first time he abandoned his duty and followed his heart, but Shepard didn't realize it yet. He walked through an engineering corridor, and then he found Tali, still working at the reactor. He just stood there, watching Tali. This was the first time he stopped in his tracks. A foreign feeling engulfed him and he didn't know what to do. He really needed to understand these feelings, if this really existed in his heart, and how he could deal with it. Tali realized something and then she turned her back from her working console.

"Commander? It's already time for the inspection tour?"

"A surprise one." Shepard said, trying to stay calm.

"Shepard, I need to talk to you. It's important."

"Make it quick." Shepard was still trying to hold his composure.

"You know the data you took from those geth control nodes? The information you uploaded to Alliance control? I want a copy of it."

"You know I can't pass out classified information."

"Please! You don't understand what this could mean to my people! Those files have information that could be vital to our efforts to understand the geth. It could be the key to helping us reclaim our homeworld."

This was the first time Shepard saw Tali beg. She was willing to sacrifice her pride to help her people in front of someone she should hate. _If this made her __go_ _back to her people maybe __I __should do this__,_ Shepard thought. She would no longer feel the burden of Shepard's behavior. She already had enough of suffering.

"If I give you this data, your pilgrimage is over. You will go back to your own people. True?"

"Not right away. I will stay with you as long as it takes to stop Saren. But my people need this!"

"You think you can use this information to destroy your enemy?"

"Not right away. We will need to study it. It could take years. But it will give us new insight into how the geth have changed and evolved over the past centuries."

After hearing this, Shepard's decision was sealed. If that geth data would make Tali stay out of trouble by studying it then it was enough for him. Now he had a new purpose added to his list. He just had to make sure that Tali stayed alive until he took care of Saren.

"Go ahead. Make a copy."

"My people... I... Owe you a great debt. One I can never repay. The only thing I can offer in return is what you already have: my solemn promise to stay with you until Saren and his geth armies are defeated, if you accept it."

Her gratitude was like a slap to the face. Shepard thought that he did not merit it. Now he really felt ashamed of himself.

"I'll be counting on you, Tali."

Shepard turned his back and walked away from Tali. What the commander thought now was that he would face a bleak future. He knew that there would be a lot more stars to count, because he must be prepared to suppress the anguish, the pain that came from missing a glimpse of happiness with Tali.


End file.
